Still Haven’t Managed To Get Over You Yet

I wish this heart
to be something that can be forgotten,
Left behind and never seen again.
Something that would disappear in a subtle blur.
Something escapable!

I know I will not sleep tonight because of you.
I die again again again with every you.
I demand that everything inside be broken down
to justify defeat
and stop you from hurting me again.

I’ve lately realised how long I’ve loved you.
In my short life I’ve wasted so much love on you.

I know because of you I am full and rancid and tired.
I am giving up - my will is only habit.
I am weaker than the stain of your beauty and presence.
I gave you my soul and every tool to dismantle it
for I loved you so.

I gave you power over me I didn’t know was possible.
In your absence I’ve hurt so much I think now I’m numb.
I still haven’t managed to get over you yet.

When the hardest thing is to write the next line,
I must be thinking of you.
Stranger with a formidable past
Who lost me everything at one time.

A girl who owns most of me even now.